


When I look back I see you

by Cinnilou



Category: ATEEZ (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Magical Realism, Dance group instead of being singers, Everyone is in university, I watched kimi no na wa and boku dake ga inai machi and cried during both of them, It Gets Worse Before It Gets Better, M/M, Someone is dead for a very short time, The worse part isn't that long don't worry, Time Related Powers
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-30
Updated: 2020-09-13
Packaged: 2021-03-06 18:21:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 15,003
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26203366
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cinnilou/pseuds/Cinnilou
Summary: The first time Yeosang was told he had a gift, he had been seven and in the second grade.“Some people have the gift to change other’s lives”, his grandmother had told him.“Be careful with it. One person can’t possibly help everyone.”Yeosang's life had been full of retries and fixing things, but for once he feels like he was the one who made a mistake, and he wasn't going to make it for the second time.
Relationships: Choi San/Jung Wooyoung, Jeong Yunho/Song Mingi, Jung Wooyoung & Kang Yeosang, Kang Yeosang/Park Seonghwa, Minor or Background Relationship(s)
Comments: 16
Kudos: 45





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Me, at the beginning of summer: eh I'm not that into kpop or anything
> 
> Me now: I've been binge watching videos of them for a solid week and I wrote this in a day, I guess this is my life now

The first time Yeosang was told he had a gift, he had been seven and in the second grade. 

The school year had just started, the heat of late July pressing down on everyone and making the surface of paved roads searing hot against the soles of shoes. Yeosang had stood at crossroads and watched the cars go by while waiting for his turn, and one truck had turned to the intersection, not noticing another car coming from the side. Yeosang had watched as the car had collided with the side of the truck, sending both vehicles into a screeching halt, with the slam ringing in his ears. 

Then he had barely blinked, and the noise was over, no truck and no car anywhere to be seen. Yeosang had stood there, trying to understand what had happened and why his ears were still ringing when there was no source for it, when he had noticed the truck rolling down the street towards the intersection. It hadn’t been driving too fast, and Yeosang had taken one step towards the road. The truck driver had noticed him and had slowed down, letting Yeosang cross the road, and when Yeosang had looked ahead, he had noticed that the other car was already passing by the intersection, not coming even close to the truck. 

That had been the exact moment when Yeosang’s head had started hurting so hard he had barely been able to keep his eyes open, the piercing pain going through his skull like an arrow. He had stumbled his way home and his mother had made him drink multiple glasses of water and scolded him for forgetting to drink on such a hot day. The water hadn’t helped that much, so he had been allowed to rest for the evening. 

When the headache hadn’t disappeared during the night, his parents had gotten worried. Yeosang hadn’t felt sick otherwise and had tried to reassure his parents that he didn’t need to go to the doctor. It had worked in the end, but they had made him stay home and had called his grandmother to stay with him, with orders to take him to the doctor if he got any worse. 

Yeosang had lied on his bed, listening to the fan spin in the living room, trying his best to ignore the pain still flaring inside his head when his grandmother had come in and sat on the edge of his bed, her hand coming to gently stroke his hair.

“Yeosang”, she had said, softly so as not to hurt his head more.

“Did something happen yesterday?”

Yeosang had told her, hesitantly, what he had seen, and that was when she had told him he had a gift.

“Some people have the gift to change other’s lives”, she had told him, pushing his hair from his eyes.

“Be careful with it. One person can’t possibly help everyone.”

She hadn’t said much more after that, leaving Yeosang to his own thoughts. Thankfully the headache had started to ease during that afternoon, and when his sister had returned from school, he had felt good enough to spend time with her until their parents came home. 

If that had been the only time it happened, Yeosang could’ve dismissed it all as a weird memory created by a hot day and possible heat stroke making him sick, but it happened again and again and again. When his sister had accidentally broken their mother’s expensive dish, the shards on the floor and the tears on her cheeks had disappeared, and Yeosang had managed to save it from falling out of her hands. When one of his friends had fallen off of his skateboard he had gotten as a last gift from his grandfather and it had rolled to the street and got crushed by a car, the board had returned to one piece under his friends feet and Yeosang had been able to run after it and stop it from rolling any further. When one of his teammates in the second year of high school had slipped on a wet floor after the last practice before the competition where their coach had made him the lead dancer and had broken his arm, he had reappeared behind Yeosang, giving Yeosang enough time to point at the water, making him go around it without any incident. 

Yeosang had learned to expect the headaches and other pains that came after, always looking for a nearest wall or something else to hold on to before it would hit him. After enough times his parents had taken him to a doctor, who had found nothing wrong with him and had suggested migraines and growing pains and told him to sleep more and be more careful when exercising. Yeosang had tried to ask his grandmother about it, but she hadn’t been able to tell him anything else.

“Remember”, she had looked at him strictly,

“You are only one person. You can’t help everyone.”

Yeosang had accepted it all at that point, really. But after he had yet again come home only to crash to the bed with his head pounding and limbs heavy, his parents had decided that being on the team on top of school was too much for him and made him drop out from the team altogether. Yeosang had argued about it, but there wasn’t really room for arguing when you were against parents who only thought they were doing what was the best for him. Of course that had not helped, but Yeosang started to put more effort in hiding the pain every time it happened, if only to make them not to worry too much. 

The day in late July seemed more distant than ever with the snowy banks and dark sky of February. Yeosang pulled his scarf up as he made his way towards the nearest subway station. The spring semester hadn’t started yet, but he had tried to get a head start for his studies, without much success if he was being honest. Yesterday had been a side effect day, as he called them, and he could still feel it lingering behind his eyes when reading, making staring at the numbers on the pages unappealing. He had given up eventually and ordered himself something to drink from the cafe he was sitting in (sugar probably wasn’t the best thing for headaches, but it made him feel better at least emotionally), before packing up his things and stepping out to the cold. 

He had never really found a reason for what was happening. His grandmother kept calling it a gift, and Yeosang did think of it as one. It was the easiest way to put it in the words, even if he didn’t know where it came from. He had learned to cope with the pains, learned what made them feel less intense so he could go on on his day without having to stay in the bed for hours, and it was the best he could do about it. 

The station wasn’t far, for which Yeosang was grateful for, since the cold did make him feel a little bit more achy during and after the side effect days (he really was like an old man at the age of 21), and he took a few hurried steps towards the stairs.

Unfortunately the top step was icy and the ice was most likely inclined from everyone stepping on it, and Yeosang slipped and fell forwards right on top of the man in front of him. The man buckled but didn’t fall over, and Yeosang all but leaped away from him.

“Sorry”, he hurried to say, stepping to the side so he wouldn’t be in the way of others coming down the stairs. The man turned towards him. He was really good-looking, probably around the same age as Yeosang was, tall and slender and hair tousled stylishly despite Yeosang barreling on to him. 

“It’s fine”, he said, smiling slightly, before turning back around and disappearing to the crowd going down the stairs towards the station. 

Yeosang took a deep breath. Well, at least he hadn’t sent both of them down the stairs and broken the other man’s neck or something. Even if he time would’ve rolled back and Yeosang would’ve been able to avoid slipping the other time around, he really didn’t need another side effect day right after one. He took a step and almost landed on an open wallet, and the face of the man he had just crashed into stared back at him from a licence card tucked into a sheer front pocket of the wallet. 

Yeosang picked it up and tried to see into the crowd, but the man was nowhere to be seen. Careful with his steps he ran down the stairs and caught a glimpse of the man just as he turned a corner towards one of the platforms. Yeosang ran after him, trying his best not to run into anyone else while doing so, but he only got down on the platform when the train arrived, and the man had already stepped in when Yeosang got to the doors. By some miracle he managed to squeeze in just before the doors closed and the train set off. 

The man was standing on the other end of the car, and Yeosang kept his eyes on him so he would be ready to get off when the man did as well. The line they were on was going in a completely different direction than where Yeosang lived, but giving it back in person was still much easier than trying to get his information and contact him afterwards, if you asked him. 

Finally, he saw the man lift his head when a stop was announced, and Yeosang hurried out of the train when he saw the man do so as well. He lost him into the crowd for a moment, but thankfully spotted him walking the stairs up towards the exit soon enough. Yeosang squeezed past other people, saying sorry at almost every other step, in order not to lose the man to the streets. 

The luck seemed to be on his side, as the man had stopped to look at his phone when Yeosang finally made it up the stairs, and Yeosang hurried next to him.

“Hey”, he said, trying not to sound too winded. The man turned to look at him and looked surprised when he saw Yeosang, probably remembering him from the station.

“You dropped this.”

Yeosang handed the wallet to the man, who managed to look even more surprised when he saw it. He patted his left pocket a couple of times and realised it was empty, looking back at Yeosang.

“Thank you”, he said, flashing him a wide smile as he took the wallet back.

“Did you run after me to give it back? Got on a train and everything?”

“I figured one train ride wasn’t too bad”, Yeosang answered. The man laughed slightly, checking his wallet to make sure nothing was missing. 

“I haven’t had anyone running after me to give me back anything before”, the man said, pushing his hair back. 

“Thank you, really. I’m the only one who has an access keycard to the studio from my group, and the others would’ve probably bitten my head off for losing it.”

“You could’ve just told them you lost it because someone decided to jump on you”, Yeosang said, earning another laugh from the man. 

“What kind of studio do you have?”

The man was, again, very good looking, so he could easily be a model of some sort or something similar to that.

“It’s to our dance studio”, the man answered.

“We have a small group training there. Nothing major yet, we just got the group assembled and got an actual proper training place, but I think we’re going to get far with the people we have.”

“I used to dance”, Yeosang said, partly without thinking.

“Up until the last year of high school.”

“Really?” the man asked, giving Yeosang almost an unnoticeable look from up to down.

“You don’t anymore?”

“School”, Yeosang said. It wasn’t the whole truth, but Yeosang wasn’t going to start explaining the situation to a stranger. And he knew it was the only explanation he needed to give anyways, and the man did indeed nod in understanding.

“Yeah, I get it”, he said, opening his wallet and pulling out an old receipt. Yeosang watched as he searched his other pocket for a pen, and wrote something down on the back of the receipt before handing it to him.

“If you want to come down sometime, you know. In case you want to try dancing again or something.”

At the back of the receipt was a name and a number.

“Park Seonghwa?” he read out loud. 

“Yeah, give me a call if you want to come over the studio”, Park Seonghwa said, grinning at him.

“We could do with one more member.”

“I’ll think about it”, Yeosang said, putting the receipt in to his pocket.

“Kang Yeosang, by the way.”

“Nice to meet you”, Seonghwa smiled yet again.

“I’ll see you around, then. I gotta go now, but hey, thank you again for the wallet.”

“It was nothing, really”, Yeosang shrugged and waved his hand a little when Seonghwa waved at him while crossing the road. He stood there for a minute, just breathing cool air and watching the people go by, before going back inside the station. He needed to figure out where the hell he was.

Yeosang didn’t end up calling Seonghwa. 

He remembered the receipt the next morning when he went to put his coat on to go and get breakfast, and he left it on the kitchen counter. He would give it a few days, just so he wouldn’t seem too eager or anything. It would be nice to just go and see what the group Seonghwa had talked about was all about, even if he didn’t end up joining. He didn’t want to promise anything to just get achy knees the next day because someone didn’t look both ways while crossing the road when Yeosang happened to be nearby. 

He really was going to call, but then he got two side effects days one after another, which did make him take it easier than usual for a few days after them, and then the spring semester started and Yeosang got his planner full before he could even properly notice it happen. He did see the receipt on the counter one morning, but by then it had already been weeks, and Yeosang was sure Seonghwa had forgotten about him at that point.

He did end up hearing about Seonghwa, though. Just not in a way he really wanted to. 

He had been walking towards one of the city libraries, in the hopes of finding a particular book he needed for his course from there when the campus library had failed him, when he noticed bright tapes blocking the entrance to one of the buildings on the side of the road. There were a lot of other people there as well, and Yeosang didn’t need to look hard to see what had happened. 

One of the building blocks was covered in a deep, black char. The walls were standing, but Yeosang noticed that almost all of the windows were broken, most likely from the heat of the fire, meaning it must have been a big one.

Then he noticed the pile of flowers leaning against the security gate. Yeosang knew that it had to mean that someone had died in the fire, and he felt heavy while looking at the black walls and shards of glass on the ground. It must have been a horrible way to go, in a fire of that size. 

It didn’t leave him alone for the rest of the day. Yeosang did find the book he needed and he attended the rest of his lessons that day, but he couldn’t really keep his mind in what was going on in the front of the room. The thought of the fire haunted him for some reason, and when he got back to his apartment, Yeosang opened news sites. It wasn’t too hard to find out articles about the fire, as it had been only a couple of days.

Yeosang opened one of them and found himself staring at the face of Park Seonghwa.

He read the article. He read a couple of more of them. Then he put his phone down and just sat there for a while, looking at the ceiling and not being sure what to feel. 

He had met Seonghwa once. He had seemed nice enough, and Yeosang thought he was probably well liked, if the amount of flowers left to the site had been any clue. Was he allowed to feel sad over someone he didn’t actually know?

Maybe. At least he could be sad over the fact that someone had died that young in a pretty horrible way. Yeosang eventually got up, but he didn’t really get anything done during the rest of the day. He ended up staring at his ceiling once more when he went to bed, unable to fall asleep for hours.

Of course something like this happened when he wasn’t looking, when someone really needed him. Yeosang had accepted that his grandmother had been right a long time ago, as horrible things happened to people all over the world and there was no way he had the ability to fix every single one of them. But this one felt different. It had been so close, in a way. If he had called Seonghwa, he maybe would’ve been able to do something. Yeosang rolled over to his side and tried to close his eyes. In a way, it felt like it was all his fault.

  
  


In the end, Yeosang didn’t remember falling asleep. He must’ve at some point, though, since he woke up to his phone alarm, and he cursed himself for not remembering to switch it off for the weekend. He sat up in his bed, and at that exact moment, the pain hit. 

Yeosang ended up sitting on his bed, holding his head in his hands for a long time, long enough for his alarm to go silent and then ring again a while later at least six times. Then the pain finally started to let go, leaving him shaky and confused. What was it for? He didn’t remember doing anything the day before, and it was usually this bad only right after the time resetting itself, and he had just woken up. 

Yeosang shut his alarm and took a look at the time, and that was when he noticed the date under the clock.

19th of February.

Yeosang all but leaped out of his bed, ignoring the pounding behind his eyes as he ran to the window and pulled up the blinds. It was undoubtedly winter outside, with a fresh layer of snow on the ground and the man on the other side of the street trying to get his car to start. Yeosang remembered seeing him doing that as he had looked out of the window the day after he had met Seonghwa in order to see the weather.

Seonghwa. Yeosang ran to his coat and pulled out the receipt from the pocket. The name and the number were still there, and for a moment Yeosang could only stare at them, his hands shaking.

He went back to his bedroom and unlocked his phone. Since it was 19th of February, it meant that it wasn’t the weekend, and Seonghwa would probably be awake already. Yeosang took a long, deep breath and tried to keep his hands still as he typed in Seonghwas number. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Like said, I'm finding myself very deep into this and I don't know how that happened lmao. 
> 
> I also made myself cry while writing the end of this (wouldn't be the first time I've done that to myself and I think that tells a lot about me as a writer akdjfjdks).
> 
> Thank you for reading, it's been nice being in here!


	2. Chapter 2

When Yeosang had typed in Seonghwa’s number and opened a new message, he finally stopped to properly think. 

He had never, ever been able to rewind time so far back. It had always been moments before the disaster had hit, giving him just enough time to react. That time frame had been anything from a minute to ten minutes, but never even twenty minutes or even hours, let alone days or, most certainly, weeks as it seemed to be right now. On top of that, his gift had only ever worked if he had been present when the accident or whatever it was had happened, and he had been nowhere near the building where the fire had taken place. Reading about something from the news had never been the catalyst for the rewinding of time either. 

Yeosang leaned his chin on his hand as he stared at his phone screen. He had more questions about his situation than what he had ever had for years, and he was all of a sudden unsure what he should do. Usually it was just the matter of preventing one person from doing something or pointing out the danger then and there, and the situation would be solved right away. Now he apparently had to relive weeks of his life. That left too many windows for errors in Yeosang’s mind.

Alright, calm down. Yeosang dragged his hand up his face and through his hair. He had done this before, multiple times, and he could do it again, even if the circumstances were a bit different this time around. Right now he needed to just start from somewhere, and contacting Seonghwa was just as good a place to start as any. 

So, first step into reliving the next few weeks. Send Park Seonghwa a message. Yeosang typed the first word at least four times, deleting it every single time. He hadn’t really sent messages to people he didn’t actually know anything about. Seonghwa was older than him, he remembered that from the articles he had read, so he needed to address him as such if they talked. He needed to introduce himself, too, since Seonghwa didn’t have his number and wouldn’t know who was messaging him. But just saying hello and introducing himself seemed awkward at best, so he needed something else to say as well. 

Just be polite. Introduce yourself and apologize for running into him one more time, even if Seonghwa hadn’t seemed too insulted about it. Keep it short and simple, so it didn’t seem too intrusive. Yeosang slowly typed the message in, contemplating every word.

_ Hello, this is Kang Yeosang. I’m terribly sorry for what happened yesterday. Thank you for the invitation to meet the rest of your group. _

That sounded good enough. Sending a message right away still felt a little bit too enthusiastic, which had been the reason he hadn’t sent one the first time around. Then again, Seonghwa had just given him his number and invited him to meet his group and maybe join them when Yeosang had barely mentioned his past with dancing. If he could be that eager, so could Yeosang. 

He hit send. 

Yeosang locked his phone and dropped it next to his pillow. Alright, he had taken the first step in fixing this. He shouldn’t have been this shaken up about it, really. It didn’t differentiate that much from all the other things he had fixed before. He barely ever knew the people he ended up helping, as most of the time they were just people Yeosang happened to pass by, so Seonghwa wasn’t any different in that sense. Maybe the timescale was different than usually, but perhaps, for some reason, he needed this much time to fix things. He was trying to save someone’s life, after all, not just trying to prevent a couple of bones cracking or a fancy plate getting smashed. 

His headache was starting again, which was expectable. He should go and take some painkillers while he waited for Seonghwa to answer. They did help to take the edge of the pain away, so he could function properly for the rest of the day. It was still pretty early (Yeosang liked to have his alarm set even during the breaks, so the transition back to studying would be much easier), and he didn’t know if Seonghwa was an early riser or if he had somewhere to go or would be even able to answer him until later. 

It felt weird to see his apartment like it had been in February again. He had gotten a new kettle in April, after the one he had before had suddenly stopped working, and this time around he could really hear how the poor thing struggled to get the water boiling. He should go and get a new one earlier this time. He took a couple of painkillers and leaned against the counter to wait for the water to boil. 

What did he remember from the news articles he had read about the fire? Why it had started exactly hadn’t been known at the time Yeosang had read them, but it had been determined that it had started somewhere from the northern side of the building, in lower floors. The fire alarm system had not worked for some reason, and the problem had been known by the property manager, who had been taken into questioning about it. Seonghwa had most likely not realised there was a fire before it was too late, and the flames and the smoke had engulfed the ground floors and blocked his way out, as the dance studio they had on the building was situated in upper floors. The most effective way to keep the same from happening would be to keep Seonghwa away from the studio that day, but for that to happen, he needed to at least be acquaintances.

The kettle clicked and quieted down, and Yeosang heard a muffled ping coming from his bedroom. Yeosang forgot the water and ran back to his bed, unlocking his phone with trembling fingers. 

There was one new message from Seonghwa, and he opened it as fast as he could. 

_ Hello! No need to apologize! I actually want to thank you again for your help. If it’s not too soon for you, we are practicing at our studio tomorrow evening, if you would like to join us? _

Yeosang’s whole body went slack from pure relief, and he almost dropped his phone. Seonghwa had answered to him. Yeosang breathed in shakily and read the message again. Seonghwa had answered him. He was still alive. 

It took him a moment to get his body back under his command, so he could answer.

_ I would really like to join you, if it is not too much trouble. At what time will the practice begin? _

Seonghwa answered almost immediately. He was probably holding his phone in his hands like Yeosang was, though Yeosang was sure that he was waiting for the answer more feverishly than Seonghwa was. 

_ We will start at 4 pm. Here is the address to the studio, message me when you get there and I will come down and let you in. See you tomorrow! _

The address was already familiar to Yeosang. It would probably be a bit haunting to see the building without broken windows and all that soot all over the walls. Well, at least he knew where to go.

_ Thank you. I will see you tomorrow. _

Right. He had contacted Seonghwa, and now he had a meeting with him. Befriending Park Seonghwa and so preventing him from dying was going smoothly, at least so far. Now he needed just to keep it up for the next few weeks.

Yeosang gave himself a moment before returning to the kitchen. The water had cooled down, and as Yeosang checked his fridge and noticed it mostly empty, he remembered that he had, indeed, gone out to get breakfast first thing in the first time around. Was there anything else he needed to get done today? Yeosang had completely forgotten what he had planned for the end of February, and he was thankful for the fact that the school year had not yet started, so he wasn’t late for anything.

That was the moment at which Yeosang realised that he was back in February, the school year had not yet started, which meant that he would have to retake all of his classes he had completed once already. He slumped against the counter and buried his head in his arms and screamed.

Park Seonghwa better had to make this worth it all.

  
  
  


Yeosang was at the doors of the studio building at three fifty-two.

It really was a little unnerving to see the building when it was not burned down, windowsills and front yard covered in a light layer of snow. Most of the rooms were lit, and Yeosang watched people moving around in the front lobby through the glass doors. He had his phone in his hand, ready to send a message to Seonghwa in a couple of minutes. He didn’t want to be too early, and five minutes seemed good enough, so he wouldn’t be late either. He was thankful for the fact that he had had over a full day between messaging Seonghwa and coming to meet him, as the side effects had finally calmed down enough for him to feel like an almost regular person. The last thing he wanted was to have a migraine while meeting multiple people for the first time and having to make a good impression on them.

He opened a new message at three fifty-four and had just started typing, when someone else walked up to the door and stopped in front of him. 

“Are you going in?” Yeosang realized a few seconds late that the question was addressed to him, and he lifted his head. 

A young man around his height and most likely around his age was looking at him patiently, pushing his dyed blue bangs from his eyes to under his hat. 

“Yes, I am just waiting for somebody”, Yeosang answered, which only made the man give him a really quick look over.

“Do you happen to be Kang Yeosang?” the man asked then. He smiled when Yeosang raised his eyebrows in surprise.

“I’m Kim Hongjoong, one of Seonghwa's team members. He described you and said that you are coming to watch the practice today. Seonghwa is probably up already, I can show you where to go.”

“Oh, okay”, Yeosang nodded.

“Thank you. It’s very nice to meet you, I’m sorry for intruding.”

“You’re not intruding, don’t worry about it”, Hongjoong told him, pressing the door code in and pulling the door open. 

“Seonghwa said you used to dance, right? It’s good to get some new blood to the group.”

Yeosang didn’t have the heart to tell Hongjoong that he hadn’t said anything about joining yet, but then again, it could turn out to be necessary for his mission. If he wanted to become friends with Seonghwa, joining his dance team was a safe bet.

“Yes, I had to stop during the last year of high school”, Yeosang answered as they stepped into the elevator.

“I’m afraid I haven’t done any coached dancing since then.”

“It’s alright”, Hongjoong said.

“Usually, once you’ve learned something, it will stay in your muscles’ memory- We just need to stir that memory up a little. And don’t worry about others, they won’t give you a hard time because of it, so just relax.”

Yeosang remembered then and there that he had no idea how big the group was to begin with and how serious this whole thing was. Hongjoong seemed nice enough, so he hoped that he wasn’t throwing himself to a den of lions, especially with Hongjoong promising the others would leave him alone. All he could do was hope. 

Yeosang tried his best to look around as Hongjoong led the way towards the studio. If he succeeded in his first plan, he wouldn’t do much with the information about the building’s layout, but he decided it would be better to study it anyways, just in case. The elevator would most likely be useless in the fire, as it was in the same end of the building where the fire had started, so the staircases would be the best option. Yeosang did see one of them when they stepped out of the elevator and a second at the middle of the hallway when they walked towards the other end of it, but he would have to look up the rest of them later. 

“Here we go”, Hongjoong stopped in front of one pair of doors and pushed them open, motioning Yeosang to follow him. 

Over Hongjoong’s shoulder Yeosang saw Seonghwa standing a few meters ahead of them, looking at his phone and biting his knuckles as if he was nervous about something. Again, Yeosang felt relief wash over him so intensely he had to consciously prevent his knees from buckling. Seeing him there, in the flesh and definitely alive, was so much more than just him texting back to Yeosang. 

Seonghwa lifted his eyes from his phone as he heard the door open, and he nodded and smiled.

“Hey Joong”, he said.

“That hair looks really nice in person - “

Then Seonghwa noticed Yeosang coming in behind Hongjoong, and for a split second, he looked a bit startled.

Hongjoong looked at Seonghwa and then at Yeosang, and he laughed.

“He was at the door when I arrived here, so I let him in with me”, he explained to Seonghwa.

“And thanks, my mom was a little startled by the color when she saw it the first time.”

Seonghwa seemed to break out from his momentary freeze.

“It is very blue”, he said to Hongjoong, and then directed his attention to Yeosang.

“Hey.”

He said it like he was somehow out of breath and was trying to hide it, and Yeosang managed to stop his lips from spreading into a relieved smile. Seonghwa was right in front of him, speaking to him and alive. It was a good feeling. So good, but he had a part to play for now. 

“Hey”, Yeosang said back. 

“Thank you for having me here.”

“No, no, no, thank you for coming”, Seonghwa pushed his hair back, clearly trying to look relaxed. He was failing at it though, Yeosang could see how his posture and gestures were a little too stiff and calculated to be truly casual.

“I kind of didn’t expect you to come, since I just invited you here out of nowhere.”

Well, the first time around Yeosang hadn’t, but Seonghwa didn’t have to know that.

“I thought it wouldn’t hurt”, he said.

“Especially since you decided to invite me here after I had just crashed onto you.”

“You’re still sorry for that?” Seonghwa laughed.

“You already ran after me and got on a train and everything to give me my wallet back, that was more than enough of an apology. So, please, no more sorries, okay?”

“If you say so”, Yeosang answered. He could tell that Seonghwa was putting a lot in to try to make him feel comfortable, with his easy smiles and loose demeanor. So at least Seonghwa and Hongjoong were going to be nice to him. 

Hongjoong had set his back on the floor against the wall, and taken off his jacket and hat and laid them on top of it. He was looking at his phone and typing, probably messaging someone.

“You can leave your jacket here”, he said to Yeosang then, pointing at his own stuff.

“Jongho said that he is almost here and that Yunho and Mingi told him they were going to be a little late.”

“They are all already late!” Seonghwa huffed. Yeosang glanced at his own phone as he put his jacket down. It was already a couple of minutes past four, and Seonghwa had said that they would be starting then.

“What about San and Wooyoung?”

“Nothing from them yet”, Hongjoong said. Seonghwa sighed, and then glanced at Yeosang.

“Sorry that you’ll have to wait.”

“I don’t mind”, Yeosang shook his head. He quickly counted the names the two had just mentioned in his head. Five plus Seonghwa and Hongjoong, so there were seven members in the team. Eight, if you counted him now.

“Is there anything I can help with?”

“You don’t have to help with anything”, Seonghwa hurried to say, but Hongjoong spoke over him.

“If he wants to help then let him help!” Hongjoong yelled from the other side of the room, where he had opened a storage closet and was now pulling out floor mats.

“He has to do it anyway later!”

Seonghwa looked reluctant still, so Yeosang tapped him very lightly to his arm.

“It’s okay”, he said.

“I don’t want to just stand around while you’re doing something.”

That made Seonghwa smile at him again.

“Already being a good teammate, are you?” he more stated than asked.

“In that case, I think I should mention that Hongjoong is kinda our leader, since he is the one who started this whole group and does all our managing and stuff, so listen to him.”

“Follow your own words too!” Hongjoong yelled.

“I’m older than you!”

“And you just said that I’m the leader, so work it!”

Seonghwa groaned dramatically but walked to Hongjoong anyway, with Yeosang trailing behind him. This was a good start, Yeosang thought as he dragged the mats to the center of the room and rolled them open. He liked Seonghwa and Hongjoong already, and Hongjoong had been fast to accept him. He could survive the other five as well.

He could.

  
  
  


Jongho was, by his words, the first one to arrive. 

Yeosang really liked Jongho. He was apparently the youngest of the team, but had done a lot of performances and competitions with pretty big groups before getting into university. He didn’t seem to care when Yeosang told him that he hadn’t danced in a few years.

“It doesn’t matter if you are not the best right away”, he told Yeosang.

“Just try your hardest. We are not going to kick you out before you haven’t even had a chance, don’t worry.”

So three down, four more to go. Even if Yeosang did feel more confident after meeting Jongho, he still felt a bang of nervousness when Hongjoong announced that the rest of the team were finally arriving. Seonghwa was already friends with everyone else, and if they didn’t like Yeosang, befriending Seonghwa would become a lot more difficult. 

Yeosang tried not to look too nervous when he heard laughing and talking from the hallway and when the door swung open. 

First thing he noticed was that two of the four people walking in were really tall. 

Second thing he noticed was that when he lowered his gaze to the other two, one of them was staring right back at him, eyes wide.

Third thing Yeosang noticed that he looked very familiar and was now barreling towards him. 

“Yeosang!” he screamed and jumped, and that was the moment when Yeosang remembered Jung Wooyoung. And that moment came not a second too soon, as he had just enough time to brace himself and catch Wooyoung as he draped himself over Yeosang. 

“I haven’t seen you since forever!” Wooyoung squeezed him and then pushed himself back a little. 

“Last time was like at least five years ago! Where did you suddenly appear from?”

Wooyoung was probably right. The last time he had seen Wooyoung had been at training camp before high school had started. They had met the first time at such a camp as well, way back in elementary school when they had first started dancing more seriously. Wooyoung had had a habit of somehow getting into every single training event and competition as Yeosang and they had eventually become pretty much hitched together during events, despite being in different teams. 

And then high school had started, school days had gotten longer, and then Yeosang had quitted. 

“Seonghwa invited him over, remember?” Hongjoong answered before Yeosang could. Wooyoung’s head snapped towards Seonghwa so fast that Yeosang could hear something cracking.

“Why didn’t you tell me it was him?!” Seonghwa raised his hands and jumped back when Wooyoung started approaching.

“I didn’t know you knew him!” he said defensively.

“You would’ve known if you had told us who you were inviting!” Wooyoung managed to smack Seonghwa’s arm, but it wasn’t a very hard hit.

“Oh, yeah.” Yeosang moved to look at the other not-so-tall man that had just arrived with Wooyoung.

“So you are the cute blonde guy that fell from Heaven on Seonghwa?”

Yeosang opened his mouth.

“Um. Yes?” he answered, glancing at Seonghwa.

Seonghwa reached his arm over Wooyoung, who was still poking him, and smacked the man on his head. 

“Ow, your words, not mine!” He sidestepped away when Seonghwa tried to smack him the second time.

“And everyone calms down now”, Hongjoong interjected.

“Joong Hyung, what happened to your hair?”

“It’s gone!” 

“And blue!”

“You have all seen my hair already”, Hongjoong said.

“I thought the pictures weren’t real.”

“I don’t think his photoshop skills are that good…”

“I said everyone calm down now”, Hongjoond repeated.

“As you all knew and most likely noticed already, we do, indeed, have a new member.”

Everyone’s eyes did move to Yeosang (Wooyoung physically as well, as he threw his arm over Yeosang’s shoulders), and he bowed his head slightly.

“Kang Yeosang”, he introduced himself.

“It is very nice to meet you all.” 

“Nice to meet you too”, the two tall men and the one who Seonghwa had hit answered and bowed back, and Hongjoong nodded approvingly.

“The blonde tall guy is Yunho, the other tall guy is Mingi, and that one is San”, Wooyoung pointed at them. 

“You are not even letting us introduce ourselves?” Yunho reached over and pinched Wooyoung’s cheek. 

“How do you two know each other?”

“We met at training camp when we were kids”, Yeosang answered, as Wooyoung swatted Yunho’s hand away. 

“He followed me everywhere for years.”

“Because I like you!” Wooyoung pouted a bit.

“And then you just disappeared a few years ago and I didn’t see or hear anything about you at all.”

“My parents made me quit”, Yeosang did feel a bit bad, even though it hadn’t been his fault. It wasn’t like he hadn’t tried to persuade his parents to let him continue. He really had, they had argued about it for weeks, so much so that his sister had come home and tried to act like a mediator when communicating otherwise had failed completely. 

“Oh”, Wooyoung said, and then frowned.

“Are you okay?”

Oh, right. Wooyoung did know that Yeosang had health problems, as the side effects were called. If Yeosang's memory served correctly, he had witnessed at least a couple times when Yeosang had fixed something and had had an attack right afterwards. Of course he would assume first that he had been made to quit because of them.

Well, he had, but because the situation was what it was, Yeosang really, really didn’t want to tell everyone that he had stopped dancing because of an unknown physical illness that came at seemingly random times.

“Yeah”, he said.

“School just got really busy and they wanted me to focus on studying.”

“Okay, yeah, high school is intense”, Wooyoung said, and Yeosang was happy that he had approved his explanation and not asked any further questions.

“But, Yeosang is starting again with us, and he has waited for you all to drag yourselves here long enough, so everybody get ready to show him what we can do'', Hongjoong clapped his hands.

“For your own sake I hope that you have practiced over the break as well.”

“I did!” San raised his hand.

“Wooyoung can prove it, we called each other while practicing!”

“Why do I feel like that’s the one thing that would make you do anything else than practice…”

Yeosang saw Seonghwa look at him as Wooyoung finally went to put his jacket and bag next to the wall to get ready. Seonghwa smiled at him, and Yeosang allowed himself to smile back.

He could do this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And so the gang is together!
> 
> This was more of a "filler" chapter so to say, since I needed to introduce everyone to Yeosang and keep it at a moderate length. But hey, everyone is there now :D
> 
> I know I tagged this originally as only platonic ships, but as I wrote more it just turned out more like this, sorry for the confusion if anyone was wondering.
> 
> Thank you for reading!


	3. Chapter 3

The longer Yeosang spent in that studio, the dumber he felt for having been so nervous about meeting the others and awaiting their judgement. 

Granted, he had never been the one who could just jump in any social situation like he had always been part of it. He and Wooyoung had stuck together through years mostly thanks to Wooyoung being persistent and not caring about Yeosang’s lack of communication skills when they had first met. Yeosang was thankful for that, as Wooyoung had been a shield between him and others and helped him blend in with the rest. 

Maybe it was that time time as well, or the fact that Hongjoong had so readily accepted him while Seonghwa had literally been one to invite him there that made the rest of the group act like Yeosang had been a part of them the whole time. There had been one moment of uncertainty and standing on the sidelines when everyone had gotten themselves ready for the practice. Hongjoong had ordered them to warm up first, and with that, Wooyoung had grabbed Yeosang’s hands.

“C’mon now, don’t just stand there!” he said, dragging Yeosang to the middle of the floor where others had already migrated.

“You came to join us, right? So let’s dance then!”

Everyone’s eyes were on him, and Yeosang momentarily felt like freezing up, but before Wooyoung could urge him more, Hongjoong put his hand on his shoulder.

“Yeosang came to watch us today, he can join the practice if he wants to,'' he said.

“Don’t pressure him.”

Wooyoung pouted.

“Aaww, but I wanna see Sangie dance!” he whined.

“It’s been so loooooooooong…”

“It’s okay”, Yeosang said.

“I don’t mind.”

He had been at least somewhat good, hadn’t he? And it wasn’t like he hadn’t done  _ anything  _ since quitting. He was probably rusty, but Hongjoong and Jongho had both given him pep talks about how it didn’t matter already, so doing few moves just to show something? He could do that. 

Hongjoong looked at him for a few seconds before nodding.

“If you want to”, he said.

“Let’s do some warm ups and we can go through our basic steps so you can get a hang of them too, and then we will put up a little show for you. That sound good?”

Yeosang nodded, and Hongjoong smiled at him.

“Great!” he said, patting both Yeosang and Wooyoung on their shoulders. Wooyoung turned to look at Yeosang again, eyes shining with excitement.

“Do the thing”, he said. 

“What thing?” Yeosang asked.

“I have done many things in my life.”

“You know what I’m talking about! The thing where your feet go like zip-zip-zip and dun dun dun and then swoosh swoosh swoosh really fast!” Wooyoung pointed at his own feet which were doing tiny side to side steps on his heels. 

“You mean the step routine I did in my solo like, seven years ago?” Yeosang asked.

“Yes! It’s so cool”, Wooyoung clasped his hands together.

“Please? And you have done it before and after that one solo!”

Wooyoung wasn’t wrong. It was a step routine that consisted mostly of different steps he had learned through years and put together. All of them were pretty standard by themselves, if you asked him, but he had been proud of the composition he had come up with.

He could still do it, yes, but the thing was that he hadn’t done it in front of anyone for years. Yeosang looked around. Everyone was looking at him, clearly interested in this thing Wooyoung was advertising for them. San had especially crept close and was now leaning against Wooyoung’s back, looking at Yeosang over Wooyoung’s shoulder. It was a very casual touch, Yeosang noticed, since when his eyes darted a little lower for a split second, he could see that San had wrapped his arms around Wooyoung’s stomach. Yeosang knew what that kind of touch meant. 

He would have to talk about it with Wooyoung later. Right now Yeosang was busy giving him a stern look.

“If I stumble and fall in front of you, I’m blaming you specifically”, he said. 

“Don’t worry about it”, Mingi grinned.

“Yunho here is a dance king but he trips on empty air all the time.”

Yunho, who had had his arm thrown over Mingi’s shoulders, now drew him closer to himself into a partial headlock. Only a partial, as Mingi wasn’t really protesting it, instead opting to lean his head against Yunho’s chest, and Yunho himself was still smiling like he really just wanted to laugh at it. 

It was a casual touch in the same way as the way San was holding Wooyoung, and for a moment, Yeosang felt like he had forced his way into something he didn’t belong in. 

“Just go for it”, Hongjoong said then, interrupting that line of thought in Yeosang’s head.

“I’m pretty curious to see this.”

Yeosang looked at him, and he looked at Jongho who had come to stand between him and Mingi and Yunho and smiling encouragingly, and he looked at Seonghwa who was looking right back at him like he was about to do something grander than just a few steps. And Seonghwa looking at him like that was the thing that reminded him why he was here, and it wasn’t for getting cold feet because of a step routine he had done multiple times before.

Yeosang lifted his chin, rolled his shoulders and counted the steps in his head. Turn, weight on your right leg, on your heels, turn, on your toes, heels, toes, heels, turn turn turn. He almost forgot one turn before the shuffle steps at the end, but even if his head didn’t remember it, at least his legs did, as they moved through the entire routine much smoother than Yeosang had dared to think they would. 

As soon as feet stopped moving, everyone almost erupted.

“Yes!” Wooyoung was bouncing on his own feet.

“That’s my Sangie!” 

“Why were you so scared of tripping?” Jongho asked.

“That was as smooth as a seal.”

Yeosang had to cover his mouth because of the grin that threatened to take over his face. Wooyoung grabbed his shoulders and bounced some more, and it was all familiar and good.

So very good.

Hongjoong let them hype him up for a little longer, before he clapped his hands again for attention.

“What do you say, if we get both Yeosang’s and the rest of your feet moving some more?” he said.

“Formation. Seonghwa, you can show Yeosang where to go.”

“Sure”, Seonghwa said, and stepped closer to Yeosang. 

“That was very good, really.”

He had impressed Seonghwa. Yeosang took that as one step closer to his goal.

“Thank you”, he said, and then let Seonghwa guide him to his spot.

  
  
  


Yeosang had almost forgotten how dancing with others felt, what it was to feel and hear other bodies moving around him and learning moves that were at the same time familiar and new to him. But he for sure remembered it all now.

It felt good. There was a headache starting, Yeosang could feel it behind his eyes starting its thumping, but at that moment, he couldn’t care less about it. What he did care about was the way he was breathing deeper after putting his body through motions and what the steps on the hard floor sounded like. They had gone through the basic formations and routines many times, and Yeosang was very pleased with how fast he had picked them up. Hongjoong had been right about how his muscles would remember the right way to move after some jostling, and Yeosang loved the slight burning in his legs after all the reps he had done. 

This time instead of dragging him in, Wooyoung had pushed him to stand on the side.

“Now, watch and admire Sangie”, Wooyoung grinned at him before running back to his spot in the starting formation. They had according to Hongjoong a longer version of the routine which included different front parts and solos, and they wanted to show it to Yeosang. So he was standing next to the wall, ready to press play on the CD player next to him. 

Hongjoong rolled his shoulders and did a quick check on everyone before turning to Yeosang.

“Go on”, he said, and Yeosang pressed the button.

Yeosang had seen many dance shows, and a well-lit studio room with the music coming from only one source with way too much echo wasn’t the grandest stage, but since Yeosang had seen so many shows before, he could tell that everyone was really putting their best in. He had already admired the parts he had done with others, but now to see it in the beat and with everything else was a whole different thing.

Yeosang knew talent when he saw it. He had a hard time deciding where to look, since every time he focused on someone even for a one second, it seemed like someone else was doing something equally cool simultaneously. And maybe because they had an audience, they were really showing off. Yeosang knew how Wooyoung danced, and despite his clear improvement over the five years they had been apart, Yeosang still recognized all the flares he had had all those years ago as well. Wooyoung winked at him when he finished his part and hopped back in with the others, clearly pleased with himself.

And then there was Seonghwa. If Wooyoung had showed off, what Seonghwa did was doubling that and adding a little bit more on top. For someone who was wearing a plain t-shirt and sweatpants, he sure moved like he was in a big-budget production. His last move was to look over his shoulder before changing positions with Yunho, and he outright smirked at Yeosang like the character he was playing in said production was the most wanted thing in the world and he knew it.

The routine ended with San in the front doing the most excessive hip moves with his steps and finally kicking so high to the air while jumping that Yeosang was actually scared for a moment. Wooyoung let out a really loud cheer from his own spot, earning a look from both Hongjoong and Seonghwa, and then the music stopped and they fell into their last poses. 

Wooyoung didn’t stay in his pose for long.

“Well?” he looked at Yeosang.

“What do you think?”

“How aren’t you already doing big shows?” Yeosang didn’t know what else to say.

“Well, we just started as a group only a few months ago”, Hongjoong said. Right, Yeosang did remember Seonghwa saying something similar on their first meeting.

“But everyone has been working really hard.”

“Hopefully I can live up to the expectations”, Yeosang said.

“Of course you will!” Wooyoung was quick to run to him and throw his arms around him.

“I know you, you can do anything you want!”

“For someone who hasn’t danced seriously for years, you did extremely well”, Hongjoong said.

“I will send you a video of the routine to your email, so you can practice it on your own time as well.”

“Sure, I’ll give you my address”, Yeosang nodded.

“I’m just saying”, Wooyoung looked at Hongjoong.

“It would be much easier with the channel, so you didn’t have to send the videos to us by mail.”

“We can have the channel once we come up with a name that is okay with everyone”, Seonghwa said.

“Now, everyone drinks water before we continue.”

“Yes mom”, Wooyoung let go of Yeosang and went to his backpack to fetch out his water bottle. Yeosang raised his eyebrows at Seonghwa.

“What channel?” he asked.

“Wooyoung and San came up with an idea of a YouTube channel”, Seonghwa answered.

“No one has anything against it, but we haven’t been able to come up with a name for our group yet, so it’s kinda in limbo. Maybe you can help us come up with something, new thoughts to the mix and all?”

Yeosang wasn’t really confident in his ability to come up with any kind of name, but he still nodded.

“Maybe”, he said, and looked over at Wooyoung and San, who were again glued to each other. Seonghwa followed his eyes and looked like he was about to say something, when Hongjoong raised his voice.

“Okay, let’s get back to it, I don’t want to keep you all here all night”, he said.

“Not yeeeeeeeeeet…”

“Your own fault for being late, now more movement to your bodies. Yeosang, you can participate in this too.”

“Okay.” Yeosang looked at Seonghwa, and found him looking back.

“Can I talk to you after the practice ends?” Seonghwa asked.

“Sure. I’ll wait up”, Yeosang said. Every moment counted, he reminded himself. Seonghwa smiled at him.

“Great. Now let’s go, before Hongjoong starts chewing us out as well.”

He took a last gulp from his own bottle before tossing it aside, and Yeosang followed him and loudly whining Wooyoung back to the floor. 

  
  
  
  


It was almost nine in the evening when Hongjoong announced that the practice was over. 

“We’ll wait for you downstairs”, Wooyoung said, before disappearing out from the studio doors with San.

There were only Yeosang, Seonghwa and Hongjoong left in the studio. Hongjoong looked really focused with his laptop with headphones over his ears when Seonghwa approached him.

“Thank you again for coming”, Seonghwa said.

“You did really good.”

“Thank you”, Yeosang said.

“It was fun. You are all very nice, and it was nice to meet Wooyoung again.”

“Right”, Seonghwa laughed.

“I wouldn’t have guessed that you two were friends.”

“Opposites attract, I guess”, Yeosang said. Seonghwa huffed in amusement, and then glanced around a bit, like he was thinking what to say next.

“You did really good”, Seonghwa said again.

“But, if you want, I mean if you feel like it, I would be happy to help with the routine? I mean there was nothing wrong with it how you did, but if you don’t want to practice it by yourself outside of these meetings, then I would be glad to help.”

Every moment counted. Yeosang nodded.

“I’d appreciate it”, he said. Seonghwa perked slightly.

“Great!” he said, flashing a dashing smile.

“We have each other's numbers already, so I’ll text you later, is that okay?”

“It’s okay”, Yeosang said. Seonghwa scratched his neck a bit, and looked over his shoulder at Hongjoong.

“Right, great. I’ll text you”, he said.

“I bet Wooyoung is waiting for you and Hongjoong needs to be told to go home as well, so we see each other later.”

“Yeah, see you”, Yeosang said. Seonghwa smiled at him for the last time before going to Hongjoong, and Yeosang slipped out from the studio.

His felt weird. It was a mixture of some sort of joy and relief and maybe disbelief as well, with the headache added on top of it all. He really needed to go home and take some more painkillers and just be for some time to digest all of it. 

This was going so good so far, and Yeosang couldn’t really believe it.

Wooyoung and San were waiting for him in front of the door.

“What did Hyung want?” Wooyoung asked as they stepped out to the cold winter night. 

“He asked if I wanted to practice with him”, Yeosang said. Wooyoung whistled.

“I knew it”, he grinned, making Yeosang look at him with a frown.

“What, you didn’t notice? We really need to go and sit down and talk. Let’s go have a couple of drinks or something.”

He really shouldn’t. Yeosang knew that if he waited too long, the headache would get really nasty and the painkillers wouldn’t help as much then. But at the same time he didn’t actually want to say no to Wooyoung. It was nice when someone wanted to spend time with him, and he really wanted to catch up.

Fortunately San made the decision for him.

“I really need to go home”, he said.

“Nooo”, Wooyoung grabbed San’s arm tightly.

“Why?”

“I have a morning shift at work tomorrow, and I’m not going to take customers with a hangover”, San said.

“It would be nice to get to know you, though. So let’s go some other day?”

He said it to Yeosang with the most open and earnest face Yeosang had seen in awhile, and he couldn’t say no to it.

“Sure, we can go”, he said, earning a  _ yes _ from Wooyoung.

“Where do you live?” Wooyoung asked him, after San had left them (it had taken a while for him to do so, since Wooyoung had kept hugging him, and San hadn’t seemed like he was that eager to let go either).

“Towards Seongbuk-Gu from here”, Yeosang said.

“You?” 

“Close enough”, Wooyoung said.

“Somewhere between Imun-Dong and Sangwolgok-Dong, so I’m gonna do a little detour and walk you home. We need to talk!”

They really did. Yeosang had missed Wooyoung, terribly so. Wooyoung had lived hours away from him when they had both still lived with their parents, so going over to see him hadn't been an easy option either. 

“So”, Wooyoung started. 

“Did you really stop dancing because your parents wanted you to focus on school?”

“Always straightforward, aren’t you?” Yeosang sighed.

“I mean, partially, yes, but…”

“But mostly because of the fits you had?” Wooyoung guessed. Yeosang sighed again.

“Yes”, he said. There wasn’t really any point in lying to Wooyoung, since he already knew.

“I got too sick for their liking in high school, and they thought dancing and other serious sports were doing me more harm than good, so they made me quit.”

“Oh, poor Sangie”, Wooyoung squeezed his shoulders.

“Are you better now?”

To that, Yeosang didn’t know what to say. He really wasn’t, since the pains had nothing to do with exercise or anything like that, but at the same time, he really didn’t want to worry Wooyoung.

“I do still get them”, he opted for a middle route.

“But it’s not as bad, and I’m better in managing them than I was back then, so it’s good.”

“You’re gonna tell me if you don’t feel good, right?” Wooyoung asked. 

“Right”, Yeosang said. He didn’t really have an option to say anything else.

“Just don’t go yelling it to others yet, okay? I don’t want to be kicked out right away.”

“You wouldn’t be kicked out!” Wooyoung protested.

“Hongjoong Hyung seemed to really like you, and Seonghwa Hyung really,  _ really _ likes you.”

“What’s with that tone and emphasis?” Yeosang turned to look at Wooyoung, who grinned at him.

“Oh, you’re saying you didn’t notice?” Wooyoung wiggled his eyebrows.

“Seonghwa was really amping up his charms and making all of his moves way more suggestive than usual. Then again, it was expected, since he kept on going about the beautiful angel that had descended from the Heavens right before him  _ forever  _ a couple of nights ago.”

Oh. San had said something similar too, hadn’t he? Yeosang had been too distracted with meeting new people to truly think about what he had meant, but now he could feel warmth creeping on his cheeks.

“Don’t tell me about suggestive things, when you were clinging to your boyfriend the whole time”, he tried to change the subject as fast as he could.

To his surprise, Wooyoung let out a really deep sigh.

“San’s not my boyfriend”, he said.

“He’s not?” Yeosang was honestly surprised. Then again, Wooyoung had always been very friendly and flirty with absolutely everyone, but…

“No!” Wooyoung whined.

“I love him, Sangie! I  _ love _ him!”

“Then what’s the problem?” Yeosang asked.

“He did seem to really like you too?”

“You don’t understand! San is the cuddliest and clingiest person this world has!” Wooyoung exclaimed.

“What if he thinks we’re only friends? I don’t want to ruin anything…”

“I honestly expected this from myself and not from you”, Yeosang said.

“Are Yunho and Mingi only friends as well, then?”

“No, no, they are together, those lucky bastards”, Wooyoung pouted.

“They have known each other for years now and Mingi literally moved here only to be with Yunho. It’s so cute and I’m so jealous.”

“Well, don’t whine about it if you aren’t going to do anything about it”, Yeosang said.

“If San doesn’t want to be your friend after you confess, then he’s not really your friend.”

“I guess”, Wooyoung muttered.

“But it’s hard, what if it gets awkward? And why are we talking about me and not about the fact that Seonghwa is very clearly trying to hit on you? Did you change the topic on purpose?”

“Me, trying to avoid talking about myself? I would never”, Yeosang said. 

“Well, we are talking about you now!” Wooyoung poked him to the cheek.

“I can’t believe Seonghwa rambled on and on about the most gorgeous thing he had ever seen in his entire life, and didn’t think of telling us who exactly he had met!”

“Hongjoong did know my name, though”, Yeosang said.

“He recognized me while I was waiting at the door and told me that Seonghwa had told him he had invited me there.”

Wooyoung pouted more, this time while he was thinking.

“Maybe Seonghwa told him in their private Hyung chat or something”, he said.

“They have been friends for a while now, so they probably have one, and Seonghwa would tell him first if he had invited someone to the group, and he forgot to tell the rest of us. I will poke him next time I see him.”

“You do that”, Yeosang snorted. It was good to have Wooyoung back in his life. 

Wooyoung did, in fact, walk him all the way to the front door of his apartment complex.

“Tell me when you and Seonghwa are going to meet up, so I can give you information about him before that”, Wooyoung said. 

“So you can go and get him.”

“If you want to”, Yeosang said. He didn’t have energy to actually argue with Wooyoung about it, so he was going to just accept whatever the other was saying.

“Thank you for walking all the way here.”

“No problem, anything for my Yeosang”, Wooyoung said.

“Let’s meet up some other day and do something, okay? We have five years worth of catching up to do.”

“Of course”, Yeosang smiled at Wooyoung.

“Go home now and sleep.”

“I’m going, I’m going!” Wooyoung gave him one last hug.

“Good night, Sangie.”

“Good night”, Yeosang started to climb up the stairs to the door, when Wooyoung called after him.

“And hey, really, tell me if you need help, okay?” Wooyoung was serious now as he looked at him.

Yeosang took a deep breath of cold air.

“Okay”, he said, and waved at Wooyoung as he finally stepped inside. 

  
  


The headache wasn’t as bad as Yeosang had feared it would get, but he could still very much feel it. The rest of the aches in his body were good this time, though, and the thumping inside his skull couldn’t really diminish his mood. Yeosang downed a couple of painkillers anyway so he could sleep the night more comfortably. He left his phone on his bed while he was taking a shower, and when he came back, there were two messages waiting for him. First one was from Wooyoung, and he had clearly sent it on his way home.

_ Good night Sangie, sleep well! ^3^ _

Yeosang typed a quick reply to it (saying good night and telling Wooyoung again to go to sleep) and then he read the other message.

It was from Seonghwa.

_ Hey! Are you free on Friday? _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Everyone when Yeosang does something: Wow, Fantastic Baby!
> 
> Also Seonghwa your thotness is showing


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning about mentions of nausea and implied vomiting at the end of the chapter, if you are sensitive to those.

On Friday, Yeosang walked towards the studio with way too much information in his head. 

Wooyoung had really meant it when he had said that he would tell Yeosang about Seonghwa. He had texted Yeosang the next day, asking if Seonghwa had said anything yet, and had then called him, only to launch to a full on presentation, like Yeosang was his student and Seonghwa a some kind of historical figure he needed to write his next essay about. 

Not that Yeosang minded. He needed to get closer to Seonghwa for his task to succeed, and Wooyoung was a big help in it, but he was having a completely different idea of what was going on. 

_ “I think that’s all you need to know for now”,  _ Wooyoung had said at the end of his lecture.

_ “I can’t tell you too much, because then it’s going to be awkward for you when you try to talk to him and you already know everything. There needs to be some mystery when you try to hit on someone.” _

“I’m not trying to hit on him”, Yeosang had told him.

_ “Really now?”  _ Yeosang had outright heard the eye roll from Wooyoung’s voice.

_ “So you’re saying that you agreed to meet some random guy you knew nothing about after you talked to him for like, two minutes, and you didn’t do it because he’s hot?” _

Well, actually he had done it in order to prevent him from dying again after his social awkwardness had caused that to happen once already and by the way, he had the power to rewind time, crazy huh? But Yeosang couldn’t just say that.

“I don’t know”, he had said instead.

“Just...I’m going to take it slow, okay?”

It didn’t really matter if Wooyoung thought he had a thing for Seonghwa, in the end. Yeosang knew what he needed to do, and some heckling from Wooyoung wouldn’t do any harm. But he needed to be careful, since Wooyoung had been very, very abundantly clear with the fact that Seonghwa thought Yeosang was cute. He needed to get closer to Seonghwa, but he didn’t want to give him the wrong impression.

So, the plan. Be nice, but not too much. Don’t give him any ideas. The last thing he needed was a fallout because he somehow managed to give Seonghwa a heartbreak. He only had so much time, and it was not enough for something like that. 

His first week of the retry was going better than good, though, so he wasn’t yet overly stressed. Which was a good thing in more ways than one, since being stressed would’ve probably only intensified the headache that was still plaguing him. It did stay tolerable with painkillers, thankfully, but Yeosang wasn’t really a fan of taking them every single day at least two times and getting only the most aggressive peak of the pain shaved off. But it was manageable.

Seonghwa had given him the door code this time around, so Yeosang could let himself in. He took the stairs this time, looking around more properly. He hadn’t yet come up with a plan to keep Seonghwa away from the studio, so he needed to prepare for anything. 

Seonghwa was already there when Yeosang peeked inside to the studio, busy in watching something from his phone while scribbling down on a pad he had on his lap. He had his headphones on, but still looked up right away when Yeosang knocked onto the door. 

“Hey!” he sprang up, stuffing his phone into his pocket and making his way towards Yeosang with long strides.

“Glad you came!”

Seonghwa smiled at him, and Yeosang smiled back. Smiling wasn’t too intimate, he had decided. He needed to be friendly, after all.

“Thank you for having me”, Yeosang bowed his head a bit.

“And helping me, so I don’t have to slow you down too much.”

“You wouldn’t”, Seonghwa hurried to say, reaching to touch him on his shoulder. His hand hovered for a second before landing when Yeosang didn’t pull away. 

“You have experience and we were all very impressed with how you did last time.”

He said the word “we” in a slightly weird way, like he was going to say something else at first but changed his mind in the last second. Seonghwa squeezed his shoulder lightly before letting go. 

“Thank you”, Yeosang said, smiling at Seonghwa again to put some weight to his words. That wouldn’t be too much. 

Seonghwa really had a radiant smile, Yeosang noticed, as he beamed back to Yeosang before stepping back a little. 

“So”, Seonghwa straightened.

“Hongjoong sent the video to you?”

“He did. I went through it a few times already”, Yeosang nodded. 

“Good. He’s altering the choreography to make you fit in there, and it will be easier for all of us if you know the rest of it well”, Seonghwa said. Yeosang couldn’t help but to feel a bang of guilt. He almost opened his mouth to apologise for giving them more work, but Wooyoung’s voice in his ears stopped him.

_ Be more assertive, _ Wooyoung had said.

_ I know that you can be a sassy little shit. Seonghwa Hyung won't be turned off by it or anything, so relax. _

So Yeosang kept his mouth shut and only nodded. 

“Right, you already have a great foundation and experience, it’s only the matter of training”, Seonghwa said.

“You have nothing to worry about, trust me. Let’s start with going through the routine together, and then I can give you some pointers.”

This time around Seonghwa was much more naturally relaxed when he talked and gestured, Yeosang noticed. Maybe he had been just as nervous as Yeosang had been, and now the worst of it had passed. Seonghwa didn’t have anything to be nervous about to begin with, in Yeosang’s opinion. He had seemed nice from the very start, and was much more natural in interacting with new people than Yeosang would ever hope to be. Maybe being interested in someone did that to you, even if Yeosang found it hard to believe that someone would be so interested in him that it made them nervous. 

Well, he shouldn’t dwell too much in it. He had a job to do, and he needed to focus on that. Yeosang dropped his backpack and coat next to the wall like last time, while Seonghwa switched on a small bluetooth speaker. The CD player must’ve been Hongjoong’s then. Yeosang had thought it kinda nostalgic, since every single one of his dance instructors had had one, even if there had been another way of playing the music available as well. He stretched up a bit while Seonghwa scrolled through the songs.

“Ready?” he asked Yeosang.

“Let’s begin then. Slowly at first, I don’t want you to pull anything.”

There was always a certain feeling in dancing on a hard floor with bright white lights beaming down on him. Yeosang had spent so many hours in the same kind of rooms, counting his steps and watching himself move from the high mirrors, alone or with his teammates or friends. It was easy to get immersed in that feeling and forget for a moment that the one who was dancing with him was watching and evaluating his every move. He was confident in himself as well, though, since his “few times” of watching the video Hongjoong had sent him might’ve more accurately been “a few dozen times”. Yeosang had always been a hard worker, and this time more than just a routine was on the line. 

After a couple of times, Seonghwa paused the music and stepped aside.

“You seem to know all the steps already really well”, he said.

“Good job. Can you go through them alone this time?”

“Of course”, Yeosang answered. He did feel a slight twist in his stomach when he said it, even though this wasn’t the first time someone had watched him dance alone, far from it. And Seonghwa was far less scarier than any of the judges or representatives that had evaluated him before, so Yeosang forced the feeling away. 

Still, Yeosang could’ve sworn that he could physically feel Seonghwa’s eyes on him as he danced, like they were a source of heat softly burning his skin. He tried his best to ignore it, to just concentrate on the movement, even if it still felt more like he was showing off himself more than his abilities at that very moment. 

Seonghwa looked pleased but like he was contemplating his next words when Yeosang stopped.

“It was good”, Seonghwa said.

“You move to the beat smoothly and you are confident with your footwork, but I would like you to, you know, emphatise more with the routine. To feel it a little bit more with the rest of your movements and your expressions. I know it’s probably mostly because this is a new choreography for you, but since you know it technically well already, try to focus more on the artistic side of it.”

That was a very prolonged and nice way to say “you know the steps but can you dance better?”. Yeosang had an inkling in why Hongjoong was the leader of the group despite Seonghwa being the oldest of them. It was certainly the most vague input for improvement he had ever heard, too, and Yeosang wasn’t sure if he should say anything about it.

_ Be more assertive _ , Wooyoung’s voice said in his head.

“Now I see why you were called ‘mom’ in the last practice”, Yeosang said. Seonghwa raised his eyebrows at him. Yeosang almost hesitated to continue.

“I’m not scared of you. If you need to criticize me, then do so.”

That wasn’t too far, hopefully. Thankfully he didn’t get to fret about it, because Seonghwa barked out a laugh only after a couple of seconds of silence.

“Here I was hoping to give you a soft start”, he said.

“Alright. I’m still saying that you need to feel the choreography more, but you are way too stiff with your upper body while you concentrate on the footwork. Especially in the part where you do the slide and then turn you are almost a ramrod, and let only your arms do the move.”

Seonghwa looked at him for a moment.

“Was that critical enough?” he asked then. His tone was confident, but his eyes were still soft. 

“Very”, Yeosang said.

“At least I now know what to improve. From the start?” 

“From the start”, Seonghwa said, and started the music. 

Maybe there had been some kind of invisible wall between them before that Yeosang had just failed to notice, because all of a sudden Seonghwa was much more vocal and stopped hovering on the edges of some kind of predetermined distance. It shouldn’t have been a problem. Yeosang did think that Seonghwa was a good-looking guy, but he was not trying to hit on him. 

That didn’t stop him from feeling  _ something _ at the bottom of his chest every time Seonghwa stepped close to give him instructions. Whatever it was, Yeosang was blaming Wooyoung for it. 

He was trying so hard to focus on the comments Seonghwa was giving to him because one, he didn’t want to look awkward and second, because the advice was actually good.

“That was a lot better”, Seonghwa commented.

“When you come to the stop before changing directions and you lean backwards, try to make the arch more consistent starting from your head. Otherwise I think the transition is like it should be.”

Seonghwa had come to stand right next to him to show the move, and Yeosang was trying his hardest to look at how he was arching his neck and not  _ at _ his neck. 

“Try it again”, Seonghwa said, and Yeosang could  _ really  _ feel his eyes on him as he did the steps again, even though Yeosang was sure that Seonghwa wasn’t looking at him any harder than before.

“Put your chin just a little bit more to the side, like you are kinda looking at the audience as you do so, like this.”

His hands came closer to Yeosang’s head and while he didn’t touch him as he guided his head to the right position, Yeosang was certain that he could sense the warmth of Seonghwa’s skin anyways on his. 

Because of the position his head was in now, Yeosang could look at Seonghwa to his face. He had really long lashes, Yeosang noticed.

_ What. _

“Like this”, Seonghwa said, smiling at him slightly. 

“Okay”, Yeosang couldn’t think what else to say.

“From the start?”

Maybe he sounded weird or something, since while the smile on his face didn’t disappear, Seonghwa pulled his hands back sharply.

“From the start”, he said. Yeosang put himself back to the starting position as Seonghwa rewinded the song back, and Yeosang swore that he could still feel the sensation of his fingers right above his skin. He swallowed tightly.

He was  _ definitely _ blaming Wooyoung. 

Somehow he managed to pull off the routine a couple of times without Seonghwa saying anything to him, so maybe whatever he was feeling didn’t show outwards at all. Seonghwa only clapped his hands when he got to the ending position for the second time. 

“I think this is enough for today”, he said. 

“I don’t want to keep you here too long, since you probably have other things to do on Friday evening than being in here with me.”

“Not really”, Yeosang said before he could properly think.

“I’m not the party type or anything.”

“Well, Wooyoung certainly is, so look out for that.” Seonghwa laughed when Yeosang groaned.

“So you’re free today?”

“Yes”, Yeosang answered. 

“For the last time before school starts again and then I will spend all my free time with all the Emperors of Russia.”

Seonghwa stared at him.

“I’m a history student”, Yeosang said. 

“Oh”, Seonghwa coughed a little to his hand and looked away for a moment. 

“Well, then. If you are not yet engaged to them, do you want to go and grab a coffee or something after we get out of here?”

Yeosang stopped.

_ Think about this wisely _ , his brain told him.  _ You know that he thinks you are attractive or whatever. He’s probably not asking this just to be friendly. Do you want to give him the wrong idea even in the slightest way possible? _

He shouldn’t. He really really shouldn’t.

But every moment counted.

“Sure”, he said. Seonghwa looked almost relieved when he said that, which only fortified Yeosang’s assumption that this was not just about being nice. 

“I’ll pay, so don’t worry about it”, Seonghwa outright beamed at him.

_Oh I’ll worry_ _about it_ , Yeosang thought. _Just not about what you think I do._

  
  
  
  


The whole “grabbing coffee or something” went...a lot better than Yeosang had anticipated.

Seonghwa hadn’t seemed too flirtatious or anything. There had been a few compliments here and there (nothing that Yeosang hadn’t heard before) but mostly it had just been nice small talk. Yeosang hadn’t even considered himself the best in it, but Seonghwa had given them a topic to start from by ordering a coffee that had way more syrup and sugar in it than coffee.

“I thought I liked sweet things”, Yeosang had said, pointing at his frappuccino.

“I have already reduced the amount of stuff I put in here”, Seonghwa had said.

“It was only five pumps of syrup this time, not seven.”

Yeosang had almost choked on his drink.

After he had not, indeed, choked on anything, they had moved on to other topics. Seonghwa had asked more about his studies (“Western history? You might bump into Jongho there. He’s a music student, but he mentioned taking some kind of history courses.”

“Art history, most likely”, Yeosang had said. 

“Well, at least I potentially have someone to cry in the archives with, then.”)

Seonghwa was a literature student, focusing more on drama and screenplays in general. 

“We could probably study together too, at some point”, he had said.

“I have to read a lot of Western stuff as well.”

Yeosang had said yes, even though he wasn’t majoring in that part of history at all.

It had been nice. Seonghwa was a good listener and didn’t push him to say more, which Yeosang appreciated. He had never liked when people would tell him that he needed to talk more. Sometimes Yeosang had been very close in telling them that maybe the reason he didn’t talk more was the company and not him. 

Seonghwa was a nice person. Definitely someone who didn’t deserve to die. Not that Yeosang believed in reason with death, but right now the situation was depending on him and his judgement of things.

They had eventually left to their own directions (Seonghwa lived in a completely different direction than he did, which Yeosang knew already from running after him). Yeosang walked with pretty brisk steps. The painkillers he had taken earlier in the day were starting to wear off, and he was still in his training shirt and was starting to feel a tad bit disgusting. 

His phone kept going off constantly, though, and he couldn’t help but to look at it every once in a while. Wooyoung had added him into the group chat with others, and Yeosang was starting to feel like all of them had purposely held back while practicing, since they were a lot more chaotic than they had been last time. 

Even if it was chaotic, Yeosang liked it. He didn’t feel like he was pushed into the sidelines in the conversation, which had definitely happened before. Yeosang smiled slightly at his phone. None of them deserved to have their friend die like that, either. 

Yeosang lifted his head when he heard the noise of car tires pulling closer. He moved to the other side of the road when the car parked in front of him and a man got out and pulled a large package from the back. Some kind of delivery man, Yeosang could see a company logo from under the man’s open jacket. 

Yeosang got ten meters away, when he heard the car moving again. He turned to look at it to see if he needed to get out of the way again, when he noticed that the car’s door was still open and the man wasn’t sitting behind the wheel. The car slided down the icy slope of the road, first slower but picking up speed fast, barreling towards the cross street at the end of the road. 

The man had now noticed that his car was gone and he started to give chase, but he was too late. Yeosang could hear the noise of the car crashing into something. 

He knew what was coming. Yeosang pressed his eyes close and when he opened them, the car was still there where the man had parked it, only sliding it’s first inches backwards down the slope.

“Hey!” Yeosang yelled. The man turned around.

“Your car-”

The pain had always hit him only after he had definitely fixed whatever thing had happened. But now, as Yeosang was still standing there, with his mouth open and words coming out, it hit him like a heavy stone, knocking all the air out of him. 

He had never felt like this before. Not even when it had happened for the first time fourteen years ago. Yeosang didn’t even register it as a pain at first, as for a moment he could only numbly wonder what made all the feeling disappear from his body and make the world around him completely silent. 

Then the bubble burst, and he found his legs giving out and he was hurling towards the ground, only barely managing to stop his fall. He still couldn’t hear anything from the rush of blood and drumming in his ears, and could only concentrate in keeping the nausea that was now swirling inside of him at bay. 

He didn’t know how long he sat there on the snow, until the delivery man came back.

“Hey”, he bent down next to Yeosang.

“Is everything all right?”

Yeosang swallowed the bile in his throat back down before looking up.

“Yes”, he stammered.

“I just, I, I slipped.”

He let the man help him up to his trembling legs.

“It is very icy in here”, the man said.

“My handbrake gave in, thank you for noticing it.”

“Yeah”, Yeosang nodded, trying to breathe in.

“No problem.”

He wasn’t sure how he got home, the rest of the way there being surrounded in thick haze in his head, but all of a sudden he found himself inside his apartment just as the nausea hit again and made him rush to the toilet while leaning on the wall for support. He sat on the hard floor of this tiny bathroom with his shoes still on for what felt like eternity, until he was snapped back to the reality when his phone started to ring inside his pocket.

Yeosang didn’t feel like answering, but as the phone kept ringing and ringing, he mustered enough strength to pull it out from his pocket.

“Hello?” he answered it, not even bothering to stop and look who was calling.

“ _ Finally” _ , Wooyoung sighed to his ear.

_ “Where are you?” _

Yeosang breathed in deep a couple of times before opening his mouth.

“Home”, he croaked.

“Why?”

_ “You didn’t answer any of our messages”,  _ Wooyoung said.

_ “It’s been hours since we first tried and Seonghwa asked me to call you when you didn’t even tell him if you got back safely or not.” _

Yeosang pulled his phone away from his ear. It was over ten p.m, and he could see the icon of unread messages on the top of his screen. So it hadn’t just felt like eternity to him.

“I’m sorry”, Yeosang said.

“Can you tell Seonghwa that I’m fine? I’ll message him tomorrow.”

_ “Okay”,  _ Wooyoung said, and then paused.

_ “Are you fine?” _

He sounded suspicious, and Yeosang was thankful that he couldn’t see him right now.

“Yeah”, he said, the lie heavy on his tongue.

“I’m fine.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeosang: *starts to gay panic*  
> Yeosang: I'm blaming Wooyoung
> 
> Am I evil for making him have a good time until the very end of the chapter? Probably yeah.
> 
> Yeosang is now a history student on the courtesy of [@AbsintheNightmare](https://archiveofourown.org/users/AbsintheNightmare/pseuds/AbsintheNightmare) because I want to make history jokes and make him complain about Foucault. I'm not even a history major myself but I do major in close enough subject that I can't escape Foucault either :D


End file.
